You all know I live in a dairy-free world of sadness that I can occasionally make peppy again by being creative. I often go on pinterest to find recipes before I go shopping so I can have ideas about what to cook. Sometimes I struggle to find food that I can eat on there. I can't really do spicy, I can't really do marinara sauce, and if something calls for a dairy product I either have to replace it or skip the recipe. Goat cheese is expensive, I can't keep using that to replace the cheese products. You know what is consistently dairy free? Soup. I don't want to eat soup for the rest of my life.
Here's what I really want. I know if you are reading this, you cook. You have recipes you are hiding away in your little brain space. I want them. Especially if it is cheese-free or easy to adjust to make it less spicy/heartburn-inducing/dairy-full. Tell your brain to give up its secrets to me because I need delicious food more than it needs to hide your recipes. Also, please don't give me time consuming recipes. If it takes longer than 1.5 hours, I really just don't have time for that. I haven't even cleaned my kitchen in a week because I don't have time for that (and I haven't been cooking).
So here's what you get from this deal. If I make your recipe, I will give you a shout out and full props and all that good stuff and tell everyone how great you are for giving me your mind grapes so I can squish them into delicious delicious juice. I will give you bonus points if you don't give me recipes for beef roasts or stews or anything like that. Beef is expensive and hard for me to cook in a tasty way. I know I'm making this hard, but want I want from you is to hear CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!! Also, it doesn't have to be dinner recipes or meal recipes, it can be literally any kind of food recipes. I can make a meal out of anything.
Thank you my lovely flowers. Ready, GO!
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Melted Butter Cookies (Chocolate Chip)
It's been awhile. I've been cooking, I've just been too busy entertaining to remember to record my adventures. To remedy this, I'm going to put up my latest experiment: melted butter chocolate chip cookies. You may or may not be aware that I don't own a mixer, and you may or may not also be aware that making chocolate cookies without a blender is a lot of manual labor. The only time I want to do manual labor is when I'm working or playing my new favorite sport. So, a friend who shall remain unnamed but identified as that-lady-that-lies-across-the-internet gave me this recipe. She gave me the dry stuff in ounces so I used a converter, and it led to very awkward measurements, like so:
Ingredients:
4 1/2 oz butter (0.56 c)
6 oz brown sugar (0.75 c)
1 egg (1 white oval ball of protein you crack)
1 tsp vanilla essance (aka extract)
5 oz all purpose flour (0.63 c of that awkward white stuff that gets everywhere)
1/2 tsp baking powder (that other white stuff)
pinch of salt (a further white thing
4oz choc chips of choice (I used dark chocolate)
Very awkward measurements. I don't know how people that don't use our system measure out freaking ounces of flour and stuff, but however they do it, I don't have the right mechanism. So, I used about half a cup of butter, three quarters of a cup of brown sugar, and I actually did about a cup of flour because it's really runny and I wanted the consistency to be thicker.
You know, flour is kind of the shittiest ingredient ever. I opened by bag and it just exploded all over me and my floor.
So much flour it turned my sock white again!
But anyway, I mixed all of this together and then greased a cookie sheet and used a greased spoon (it was covered in butter from me using it to get butter out of the tub...of butter) to move the liquidy substance to a pan. Not being sure how much these would spread or rise, I just kind of made awkward lumps of batter the same distance from each other as I do with normal cookies.
I'm going to warn you now, this is a mistake! Do two to a row and only do like, six cookies to a pan because they spread faster and farther than swine flu. So I cooked it for what was probably ten minutes but I'm going to be honest, I wasn't keeping track. I cooked 'em til I could smell 'em. They came out like this:
So it doesn't look great. The bottoms cooked way to fast (and the oven rack is actually up pretty high) and it looks like the tops didn't cook much at all. However, they have that weird look that brownies have when they cook, the sort of cracked outer surface so I think they are done. And if not, raw cookies for myself. This only made a dozen, partly because I put so much batter per cookie and partly because the recipe is small. I don't mind, I like it this way. Cooking takes too long as it is.
Result: These are okay. I probably would not make them with dark chocolate chips again, they just don't have the substance to handle it. They are also not round and puffy like regular cookies, which is actually a huge bummer for me. However, they were super easy and did not take very long and made the perfect amount of cookies, so there is a possibility that I will make these in the future. I mean, they are still cookies. Well...they are still like cookies' second cousin, flatties.
Update: So these cookies are much better when they've completely cooled. I really like them and will be partaking of them again.
Ingredients:
4 1/2 oz butter (0.56 c)
6 oz brown sugar (0.75 c)
1 egg (1 white oval ball of protein you crack)
1 tsp vanilla essance (aka extract)
5 oz all purpose flour (0.63 c of that awkward white stuff that gets everywhere)
1/2 tsp baking powder (that other white stuff)
pinch of salt (a further white thing
4oz choc chips of choice (I used dark chocolate)
Very awkward measurements. I don't know how people that don't use our system measure out freaking ounces of flour and stuff, but however they do it, I don't have the right mechanism. So, I used about half a cup of butter, three quarters of a cup of brown sugar, and I actually did about a cup of flour because it's really runny and I wanted the consistency to be thicker.
You know, flour is kind of the shittiest ingredient ever. I opened by bag and it just exploded all over me and my floor.
But anyway, I mixed all of this together and then greased a cookie sheet and used a greased spoon (it was covered in butter from me using it to get butter out of the tub...of butter) to move the liquidy substance to a pan. Not being sure how much these would spread or rise, I just kind of made awkward lumps of batter the same distance from each other as I do with normal cookies.
I'm going to warn you now, this is a mistake! Do two to a row and only do like, six cookies to a pan because they spread faster and farther than swine flu. So I cooked it for what was probably ten minutes but I'm going to be honest, I wasn't keeping track. I cooked 'em til I could smell 'em. They came out like this:
So it doesn't look great. The bottoms cooked way to fast (and the oven rack is actually up pretty high) and it looks like the tops didn't cook much at all. However, they have that weird look that brownies have when they cook, the sort of cracked outer surface so I think they are done. And if not, raw cookies for myself. This only made a dozen, partly because I put so much batter per cookie and partly because the recipe is small. I don't mind, I like it this way. Cooking takes too long as it is.
Result: These are okay. I probably would not make them with dark chocolate chips again, they just don't have the substance to handle it. They are also not round and puffy like regular cookies, which is actually a huge bummer for me. However, they were super easy and did not take very long and made the perfect amount of cookies, so there is a possibility that I will make these in the future. I mean, they are still cookies. Well...they are still like cookies' second cousin, flatties.
Update: So these cookies are much better when they've completely cooled. I really like them and will be partaking of them again.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Nutrient-Packed Fruit Smoothies
Recently, a friend of mine has turned me onto avocado smoothies, found at this website. I know, you're thinking that sounds incredibly gross, right? Well, it's not. The avocado makes the smoothie very smooth and creamy without needed ice or ice cream or anything like that. The citrus covers the taste of avocado, and avocado is crazy good for you. Pop in some citrus, coconut milk, and honey/cinnamon/sweet stuff, and you will turn into the healthiest mutant fruit monster ever created.
My friend uses banana, clementines, avocado, cinnamon, honey, and probably other stuff that I can't for the life of me remember. Now, citrus is all fine and dandy, but I want something else, you know?
This is what mine turned out looking like. It really looks a lot like puke. It didn't turn out very thick probably because I put in too much milk and I forgot the banana.
BUT! It's pretty good. I put in half an avocado, two bunches of grapes, two clementines, and squeezed in one lime. Then I put in something between 1/2 cup and 1 cup of coconut milk. I also neglected honey and cinnamon because I was too hungry when I made this to think through all the good stuff I should put in. It's very strong, I put in too much lemon and probably one too many clementines. Still, it's pretty good. I threw it in my one-serving blender and viola! One fruit smoothie that is not so very smooth.
WAIT DON'T LEAVE YET.
I made another smoothie that was much more smooth. Half an avocado, one peach (canned), one clementine, about two handfuls of pineapple tidbits, a banana, some honey, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Then a dash of coconut milk (just a dash!) and this is what it'll look like.
NOM NOM NOM
Then you blend it til it bleeds smoothie goodness. This one turns out very smooth and creamy and it more-or-less citrusy with a very strong taste of banana. I'll put in half of one next time because I prefer less of that banana taste. Cheers.
My friend uses banana, clementines, avocado, cinnamon, honey, and probably other stuff that I can't for the life of me remember. Now, citrus is all fine and dandy, but I want something else, you know?
BUT! It's pretty good. I put in half an avocado, two bunches of grapes, two clementines, and squeezed in one lime. Then I put in something between 1/2 cup and 1 cup of coconut milk. I also neglected honey and cinnamon because I was too hungry when I made this to think through all the good stuff I should put in. It's very strong, I put in too much lemon and probably one too many clementines. Still, it's pretty good. I threw it in my one-serving blender and viola! One fruit smoothie that is not so very smooth.
WAIT DON'T LEAVE YET.
I made another smoothie that was much more smooth. Half an avocado, one peach (canned), one clementine, about two handfuls of pineapple tidbits, a banana, some honey, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Then a dash of coconut milk (just a dash!) and this is what it'll look like.
Then you blend it til it bleeds smoothie goodness. This one turns out very smooth and creamy and it more-or-less citrusy with a very strong taste of banana. I'll put in half of one next time because I prefer less of that banana taste. Cheers.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
"One Pot Wonder" Chicken Lo Mein
I looooove Chinese food and lo mein is my favorite of all the meals. I found a recipe on pinterest for chicken lo mein and I decided to try it out. I followed the recipe almost to the letter (and anyone who has read my blogs know that by almost to the letter, I really mean the new recipe is almost unrecognizable). Have the ingredients!
Ingredients
- ½ lb. boneless skinless chicken breast, cut into small chunks
- 12 oz. whole wheat linguini or fettuccini, broken in half
- 4 medium carrots, peeled and cut in thin 3 inch long strips
- 1 medium red bell pepper, cut in thin 3 inch long strips
- 1 bunch green onions, white part sliced and green part cut in 3 inch long strips
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- ¼ cup soy sauce
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon corn starch
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
- 4 cups chicken or vegetable broth
- ½ cup water
- 2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
Instructions
- Add the chicken, then the pasta, then the remaining ingredients to a large stockpot and cover. Bring to a boil. Stir and reduce to a simmer. Cook covered for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cook until most of the liquid is gone and the chicken is cooked through.
I changed the vegetables because I can. I used water chestnuts, baby corn, carrots, snap peas, and probably that's it. Otherwise, I used all other ingredients except corn starch because I forgot to buy some and red pepper flakes, because much to my shame, I could not open up my bottle. I swear the lid is glued on. Anyway, everything else was more or less the same (again, I'm lying). For any of you that clicked the link and took a look at the first picture there, it looks so nice and neat and easy. Well, it took me 30 minutes to prepare the veggies and then I simply could not get it to look as nice as that picture.
Later on, I added that face to the pot of ingredients. I swear there is chicken in there, it's just at the bottom hiding from everyone. It's shy. So this is just the veggies.
And this is all of it. It really looks yummy, doesn't it? Also, instead of cooking this in a hot pot, I used my crock pot. I figured the principle was generally the same so it would all be fine. Well...
First, I overcooked the damn noodles. They are all mushy and gross. Also, that is linguine because I couldn't find lo mein noodles, and I hate thin noodles. I should have known better. Also Also, the soy sauce I used tasted weird. Also Also Also, it was too thick and not soaked up enough, so I added some water and it still looks nasty. And tastes nasty. I have a huge pot of noodles and veggies that are no longer edible. My life is disappointing, I was so looking forward to this and now I don't know what to do with it all. Anyone like gross noodles?
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Green Tea Mojitos/Yogurt and Fruit Smoothies
I had my brunch cooking buddy help me pick out recipes this time. She is really big on tea and loves rum and so naturally she came across a brunch booze recipe for green tea mojitos. I figured we could give it a try even though I'm not big on green tea or mint in anything but hot tea. She found it on a website, and I don't have it with me or else I would post a link to it. Sorry, whoever's website that was!
So I brewed the green tea Saturday night. This same night I went all over town (the town of heathens as I mentioned in my baked brie post) looking for mint because that is a completely necessary ingredient for mojitos. As I said in my blueberry banana bread post, it was not to be gotten. So, I did something radical. Because we were already making tea, I figured I'd just add peppermint tea and everything would be fine.
I put the green tea in the fridge overnight unsweetened, and I made the peppermint tea in the morning when my cooking buddy brought it. We brewed it and mixed it all in and then added rum and sugar according to the preference of the guest.
I'm going to leave the critique to my brunch cooking buddy whom I'm going to call Hatty because the name amuses me. She says, "About the green tea mojito, you should make the tea with a lot of sugar if we do it again. And more mint is needed (so more mint tea). Also, the limes need to be squeezed in and not just used for garnish (I forgot that part). The way I made them, they weren't that great." No, they were not great, and it seems the guests thought the same.
The midmorning was saved by the fact that I just bought a blender last week. I had bought yogurt for brunch as requested by my brunch partner (and no one was eating that either) as well as some fruit. When the tea didn't pan out, I suggested they made fruit and yogurt and almond/coconut milk smoothies with rum or vanilla vodka. That was astoundingly successful. So I count this as a fail/win. I only won because I have a sizable liquor cupboard from so many brunches that had leftover liquor.
Also, I told you I was going to post both my failures and successes, and there you have it.
So I brewed the green tea Saturday night. This same night I went all over town (the town of heathens as I mentioned in my baked brie post) looking for mint because that is a completely necessary ingredient for mojitos. As I said in my blueberry banana bread post, it was not to be gotten. So, I did something radical. Because we were already making tea, I figured I'd just add peppermint tea and everything would be fine.
I put the green tea in the fridge overnight unsweetened, and I made the peppermint tea in the morning when my cooking buddy brought it. We brewed it and mixed it all in and then added rum and sugar according to the preference of the guest.
I'm going to leave the critique to my brunch cooking buddy whom I'm going to call Hatty because the name amuses me. She says, "About the green tea mojito, you should make the tea with a lot of sugar if we do it again. And more mint is needed (so more mint tea). Also, the limes need to be squeezed in and not just used for garnish (I forgot that part). The way I made them, they weren't that great." No, they were not great, and it seems the guests thought the same.
The midmorning was saved by the fact that I just bought a blender last week. I had bought yogurt for brunch as requested by my brunch partner (and no one was eating that either) as well as some fruit. When the tea didn't pan out, I suggested they made fruit and yogurt and almond/coconut milk smoothies with rum or vanilla vodka. That was astoundingly successful. So I count this as a fail/win. I only won because I have a sizable liquor cupboard from so many brunches that had leftover liquor.
Also, I told you I was going to post both my failures and successes, and there you have it.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Baked Brie
This is a recipe I learned from one of my good friends. She's basically the only reason I try new things. When she said we were going to have baked brie, I was like brie? What kind of weird vegetable is that? For those of you who don't get the joke, brie is a cheese.
A miracle happened a few weeks ago. You all know about my dairy allergy, but I can do goat cheese because it is 100% more gentle on my digestive parts that you don't want to hear about. Anyway, I live in a town of heathens that don't believe in fresh fruit or non-cow cheeses. Anything that is not just plain straight up goat cheese is basically impossible to find, which is why I replace all my cheeses with plain jane goat cheese. Anyway, MIRACLE! I found goat cheese brie. I don't know who you are that convinced the store to carry it, but I want to marry you.
Baked brie is probably the simplest dish I have ever made and it is a great snack and reheats really well. What you need:
5-8oz brie (it can be goat or cow cheese, they are equally delicious)
1 roll of pillsbury crescent rolls
Your choice of jam (raspberry is first choice)
Glazed Walnuts (I can't remember how I usually do this, so I will add a recipe for that).
Here is the recommended walnut recipe that I'm trying to remember off the top of my head: Chop walnuts. Put oil in a pan and heat, add walnuts, and mix to coat. Add cinnamon, brown sugar, something something....and cook until it begins thickening and congealing around the nuts. The recipe is good, but I'm not sure it is correct. I urge the SO of this recipe-giver to comment on what the real recipe is, you know who you are. This is a more specific recipe I just found for making glazed walnuts: Spread 2/3 cup of finely chopped walnuts on the bottom of a baking dish. Bake 10-12 minutes until toasted, stirring occasionally. Remove from oven and stir in 1/4 cup of coffee flavored liquor, 3 tbs of firmly packed brown sugar, and 1/2 tsp of vanilla. Set aside.
I'm not sure how that particular recipe will taste, but it sounds right. The full recipe is here.
I used a pie dish to bake my brie, but you can also use a cookie sheet or anything you can cook in. Spray the bottom. Roll out your cold (but not frozen) crescent rolls into a rectangle or in such a way that it fits the pie pan. Mash the sutures together so there are no holes. Place the brie in the middle, place the walnuts on top, and you can either add the jam now or serve it on the side. I always serve it on the side. Bring the edges together to cover all the ingredients and mush the top pieces together so there are no holes. You can remove excess dough and bake it on the side and eat that separately with jam or butter. Bake in oven on 350F for about 12 minutes or until the dough is brown and cooked. Serve with crackers (I prefer townhouse) and jam.
Baked goat brie is actually really good, if you want to know. I think it has a better flavor than cow brie but that could just be because I secretly hate cow milk products (but I love cheese). I served it without walnuts this time because of the brunch member with a nut allergy and it was the saddest day of my life. My poor, lonely walnuts. I did have both plum and raspberry jam, and I have had blackberry jam with it before and it's all really good. This was, as usual, a success and it was gone within minutes. If you are feeding more than four people, I recommend you make two.
A miracle happened a few weeks ago. You all know about my dairy allergy, but I can do goat cheese because it is 100% more gentle on my digestive parts that you don't want to hear about. Anyway, I live in a town of heathens that don't believe in fresh fruit or non-cow cheeses. Anything that is not just plain straight up goat cheese is basically impossible to find, which is why I replace all my cheeses with plain jane goat cheese. Anyway, MIRACLE! I found goat cheese brie. I don't know who you are that convinced the store to carry it, but I want to marry you.
Baked brie is probably the simplest dish I have ever made and it is a great snack and reheats really well. What you need:
5-8oz brie (it can be goat or cow cheese, they are equally delicious)
1 roll of pillsbury crescent rolls
Your choice of jam (raspberry is first choice)
Glazed Walnuts (I can't remember how I usually do this, so I will add a recipe for that).
Here is the recommended walnut recipe that I'm trying to remember off the top of my head: Chop walnuts. Put oil in a pan and heat, add walnuts, and mix to coat. Add cinnamon, brown sugar, something something....and cook until it begins thickening and congealing around the nuts. The recipe is good, but I'm not sure it is correct. I urge the SO of this recipe-giver to comment on what the real recipe is, you know who you are. This is a more specific recipe I just found for making glazed walnuts: Spread 2/3 cup of finely chopped walnuts on the bottom of a baking dish. Bake 10-12 minutes until toasted, stirring occasionally. Remove from oven and stir in 1/4 cup of coffee flavored liquor, 3 tbs of firmly packed brown sugar, and 1/2 tsp of vanilla. Set aside.
I'm not sure how that particular recipe will taste, but it sounds right. The full recipe is here.
I used a pie dish to bake my brie, but you can also use a cookie sheet or anything you can cook in. Spray the bottom. Roll out your cold (but not frozen) crescent rolls into a rectangle or in such a way that it fits the pie pan. Mash the sutures together so there are no holes. Place the brie in the middle, place the walnuts on top, and you can either add the jam now or serve it on the side. I always serve it on the side. Bring the edges together to cover all the ingredients and mush the top pieces together so there are no holes. You can remove excess dough and bake it on the side and eat that separately with jam or butter. Bake in oven on 350F for about 12 minutes or until the dough is brown and cooked. Serve with crackers (I prefer townhouse) and jam.
Baked goat brie is actually really good, if you want to know. I think it has a better flavor than cow brie but that could just be because I secretly hate cow milk products (but I love cheese). I served it without walnuts this time because of the brunch member with a nut allergy and it was the saddest day of my life. My poor, lonely walnuts. I did have both plum and raspberry jam, and I have had blackberry jam with it before and it's all really good. This was, as usual, a success and it was gone within minutes. If you are feeding more than four people, I recommend you make two.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Spinach Artichoke Egg Casserole
So as you all know it was my week to make brunch. The blueberry banana bread I posted about Saturday night was a part of that. I made other items for brunch, but I'm going to deal with them separately, and post them throughout the week. You have baked brie and green tea mojitos to look forward to!
I don't have any pictures because I just did this all so fast. I got this recipe from pinterest, you can find the original here.
Ingredients:
8oz artichoke hearts, chopped
2 cups of fresh baby spinach, chopped
12 eggs
1 cup goat cheese
garlic salt and pepper to taste
The original called for 14oz of artichokes, 1 tsp of garlic salt, and parmesan cheese instead of goat cheese, just in case you are curious about the differences.
Whisk the eggs together, then add all the rest of the ingredients, put in a greased 9x13 pan, and bake at 375F for 30 minutes. Cool on a wire rack (I skipped this part).
This recipe also got good responses from my brunch group, and most of the 9x13 pan I made got eaten. I thought it was a little cheese heavy, but part of that is getting the goat cheese to crumble in such a way that you aren't getting huge chunks in every mouthful. I have yet to discover a way to fix that, but I will. However, the artichokes are sufficiently salty to give this dish a really good flavor, but I think that if I make it again, I will put in some broccoli. Broccoli is good.
I don't have any pictures because I just did this all so fast. I got this recipe from pinterest, you can find the original here.
Ingredients:
8oz artichoke hearts, chopped
2 cups of fresh baby spinach, chopped
12 eggs
1 cup goat cheese
garlic salt and pepper to taste
The original called for 14oz of artichokes, 1 tsp of garlic salt, and parmesan cheese instead of goat cheese, just in case you are curious about the differences.
Whisk the eggs together, then add all the rest of the ingredients, put in a greased 9x13 pan, and bake at 375F for 30 minutes. Cool on a wire rack (I skipped this part).
This recipe also got good responses from my brunch group, and most of the 9x13 pan I made got eaten. I thought it was a little cheese heavy, but part of that is getting the goat cheese to crumble in such a way that you aren't getting huge chunks in every mouthful. I have yet to discover a way to fix that, but I will. However, the artichokes are sufficiently salty to give this dish a really good flavor, but I think that if I make it again, I will put in some broccoli. Broccoli is good.
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